Today on the way home from school Leila was trying to pull off her tights as though they were socks. She was getting extremely upset that they clearly would not budge. The veins in her neck were bulging, her face was red, and she was grunting with all of her strength to tear off those things.
As her backseat buddy, Gage tried to 'explain' things to her. All in about one breath he reminded her that we were on the 'main road and there was no place to pull off' so that she could get some help.
He further explained that if we were to pull off, we would not be in a safe spot and could 'be smashed by another car, which would tear up the car and really, really hurt [them] in the back seat.'
As if that explanation wasn't enough, he went on to remind her that he was 'a volunteer fire fighter guy and [he] really just can't get hurt because firemen can't get hurt... 'cause who'd go on the fire run then, Leila?' In the same sentence, he ended the conversation with a firm "You'll just have to be patient, Leila!"
Obviously, there wasn't a moment for me to even add my two cents anywhere, to offer any kind of diversion to her frustration, nor hardly any time to hear it all. But, lo and behold... Gage's lecture worked. And she patiently rode in the car the rest of the way home.
Three hours later, she's still wearing her tights. He might collect top dollar one of these days as a babysitter.
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Monday, January 24, 2011
Child Saves the Day
Sometimes when I go to work and then come home I feel punished by my children for having left them all day. I don't mean this literally, of course, but their behaviors and attitudes on days where their norms aren't their norms can really be difficult. Today was no different, except for the fact that work today, rather than teaching, was an 8-hour long meeting concerning a curriculum redesign that has been anything but popular among my colleagues lately.
In fact, for the first time in many, many moons, I came home from work, shuffled to the back contents of our refrigerator and pulled out a couple of cold ones. I really wanted, just for one evening, to be 25 again where I could wrangle up my other teacher friends (or roommates at the time who were also teachers, double bonus) and venture to the closest, cheapest happy hour until it would be time to call it a night and where I could just sleep the whole kit and caboodle off. Again, I haven't felt like this in quite some time.
So in the middle of refereeing, cooking, and interpreting all the wants and needs of an almost-2-year old who didn't have a nap, we were able to somehow come together all at once and eat in relative peace in relation to the chaos of getting to that point. Over our tuna quesedillas, and after I had already said a silent prayer of thanks for five quiet minutes to eat, Gage added the cream to my coffee by saying this:
He melted me like butter and he washed away all the turmoil and all the conflict that the day had stirred. And, it's the last time I will ever say I felt punished by my children just because of their foul moods. The indirect reminder of my most important and most cherished job gives me the best oomph to sleep it off and wake again to a new day, grateful that we've been given that chance.
In fact, for the first time in many, many moons, I came home from work, shuffled to the back contents of our refrigerator and pulled out a couple of cold ones. I really wanted, just for one evening, to be 25 again where I could wrangle up my other teacher friends (or roommates at the time who were also teachers, double bonus) and venture to the closest, cheapest happy hour until it would be time to call it a night and where I could just sleep the whole kit and caboodle off. Again, I haven't felt like this in quite some time.
So in the middle of refereeing, cooking, and interpreting all the wants and needs of an almost-2-year old who didn't have a nap, we were able to somehow come together all at once and eat in relative peace in relation to the chaos of getting to that point. Over our tuna quesedillas, and after I had already said a silent prayer of thanks for five quiet minutes to eat, Gage added the cream to my coffee by saying this:
Mom, when I grow up and go to college, I don't know if I'll want to go because I won't get to see you everyday.... and you're my best friend.
He melted me like butter and he washed away all the turmoil and all the conflict that the day had stirred. And, it's the last time I will ever say I felt punished by my children just because of their foul moods. The indirect reminder of my most important and most cherished job gives me the best oomph to sleep it off and wake again to a new day, grateful that we've been given that chance.
Child Saves the Day
Sometimes when I go to work and then come home Gage and Leila do not have their normal behaviors and attitudes. Today was no different, except for the fact that work today, rather than teaching, was an 8-hour long meeting concerning a curriculum redesign that has been anything but popular among my colleagues lately.
So in the middle of refereeing, cooking, and interpreting all the wants and needs of an almost-2-year old who didn't have a nap, we were able to somehow come together all at once and eat in relative peace in relation to the chaos of getting to that point. Over our tuna quesedillas, and after I had already said a silent prayer of thanks for five quiet minutes to eat, Gage added the cream to my coffee by saying this:
He melted me like butter and he washed away all the turmoil and all the conflict that the day had stirred. The indirect reminder of my most important and most cherished job gives me the best oomph to sleep it off and wake again to a new day, grateful that we've been given that chance.
So in the middle of refereeing, cooking, and interpreting all the wants and needs of an almost-2-year old who didn't have a nap, we were able to somehow come together all at once and eat in relative peace in relation to the chaos of getting to that point. Over our tuna quesedillas, and after I had already said a silent prayer of thanks for five quiet minutes to eat, Gage added the cream to my coffee by saying this:
Mom, when I grow up and go to college, I don't know if I'll want to go because I won't get to see you everyday.... and you're my best friend.
He melted me like butter and he washed away all the turmoil and all the conflict that the day had stirred. The indirect reminder of my most important and most cherished job gives me the best oomph to sleep it off and wake again to a new day, grateful that we've been given that chance.
Saturday, January 22, 2011
Birthday Preparations
Austin and I have had the hardest time figuring out the 'perfect' gift for Leila's birthday. It's always going to be a little more difficult since her birthday is only a month after Christmas, so we try to buy presents that she'll grow into. After debating for two months as we try to find the 'perfect' kitchen set for her, we tabled the idea for now, and decided to go an entirely different route.
So last night Austin and I began the Leila room overhaul from her nursery--crib, changing table, and all the rest-- to her big girl room. I found the coolest organizing cube system and after tearing down the crib and changing table, we have rearranged and begun building the neatest play room/bedroom I've ever seen. I would like to just get it all finished right away, but we'll have to Target jump in order to find all the cube system stuff that we need. (shipping fees are for the birds sometimes)
She napped in our bed today while I applied all the wall decals that Santa brought to her... cute little birds, trees, flowers, and owls and when I took her in to see them after she woke up, she crawled into her bed and just talked and talked to them. Leila's excitement and happiness is making it easier for all of us to admit she's not a baby anymore.
I think we made the right decision to help her grow up and to have a new space for playing and for all of her new toys. Just yesterday she was bent on wearing only a tutu and a pull up. She accessorized with a fire fighter's helmet, and that's been the focus of her pretend play since then. She did agree to put on pj's at bedtime, but the tutu had to be put back on as well. It makes me chuckle to see her go in and out of these girlie days-- see, sometimes she'll only wear a dress (but only with tennis shoes) while most all the time, she won't let me even bring a brush to her head without a fight (forget the bows and such). Maybe it's a good sign for the future of her independence and self-acceptance. Wouldn't that be a blessing!
Next weekend we'll be off to Grandma and Poppy's house to celebrate the 2nd birthday with family in McConnelsville.
So last night Austin and I began the Leila room overhaul from her nursery--crib, changing table, and all the rest-- to her big girl room. I found the coolest organizing cube system and after tearing down the crib and changing table, we have rearranged and begun building the neatest play room/bedroom I've ever seen. I would like to just get it all finished right away, but we'll have to Target jump in order to find all the cube system stuff that we need. (shipping fees are for the birds sometimes)
She napped in our bed today while I applied all the wall decals that Santa brought to her... cute little birds, trees, flowers, and owls and when I took her in to see them after she woke up, she crawled into her bed and just talked and talked to them. Leila's excitement and happiness is making it easier for all of us to admit she's not a baby anymore.
I think we made the right decision to help her grow up and to have a new space for playing and for all of her new toys. Just yesterday she was bent on wearing only a tutu and a pull up. She accessorized with a fire fighter's helmet, and that's been the focus of her pretend play since then. She did agree to put on pj's at bedtime, but the tutu had to be put back on as well. It makes me chuckle to see her go in and out of these girlie days-- see, sometimes she'll only wear a dress (but only with tennis shoes) while most all the time, she won't let me even bring a brush to her head without a fight (forget the bows and such). Maybe it's a good sign for the future of her independence and self-acceptance. Wouldn't that be a blessing!
Next weekend we'll be off to Grandma and Poppy's house to celebrate the 2nd birthday with family in McConnelsville.
Friday, January 21, 2011
Two Years Ago...
I was as busy as my body would allow cleaning the house and prepping the 'new' room for the little girl that was about to arrive into our world. I had reached the stage in pregnancy that if I were to get any sleep at all, I needed to sleep on my own and was sleeping in our little girl's room. There was a lot of snow just as there is now and I remember wondering if we would have to take the kubota to the top of the hill in order to get to the hospital.
Today, Miss Leila began her day (this below zero day) by stripping out of her pajamas and pretending to swim on the kitchen floor. Later she added her pink tutu to her Dora pull-up and accessorized with a red fire fighter's helmet. Finally, after getting her to accept being dressed (as long as the tutu and fire helmet could stay), she headed out the door (no socks, just shoes) and jumped into the same above-mentioned kubota to venture to Grandma Cable's house with Gage so they could play with the GeoTrax city they've created there.
Talk about how it goes by in a blink of an eye...
Today, Miss Leila began her day (this below zero day) by stripping out of her pajamas and pretending to swim on the kitchen floor. Later she added her pink tutu to her Dora pull-up and accessorized with a red fire fighter's helmet. Finally, after getting her to accept being dressed (as long as the tutu and fire helmet could stay), she headed out the door (no socks, just shoes) and jumped into the same above-mentioned kubota to venture to Grandma Cable's house with Gage so they could play with the GeoTrax city they've created there.
Talk about how it goes by in a blink of an eye...
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Emotional Reminder
We went out to eat last night for Austin's birthday. At the end of dinner, I had to take both kids to the restroom. As we were finishing up, a new mom came into the restroom with a new baby who was just heart-wrenching howling. I hurried out of the handicap stall where I had my two munchkins and my brain immediately went back to those newborn days of trying to go out, yet be a nursing mom-- in a society that has little acceptance of public nursing if it at all might be noticeable (as my experiences taught me, anyway). I felt absolutely terrible that she had to try to nurse in a nasty bathroom stall while trying to stand up.
Before we left the restroom, I knew she was struggling and I just wanted to do anything to help her. I knocked on her door and told her that I had been in her shoes lots of times and asked if there was anything I could do to help or if there was anyone with her that she wanted me to get. Already three minutes had gone by and the baby was just not calming down. In her shoes, in that space, trying to do the job she was trying to do-- those have to be about the most emotional moments for a momma.
She declined my offer (of course, I'm some stranger in a public restroom) and I left with the kiddos with just a terrible pit in my stomach. After we got our kids ready to go, I told Austin to take them to the car and I returned to the bathroom stall.
The mother was still inside, the baby was still howling that newborn cry that makes a mom think her baby's going to starve, and the mother was sobbing. When I tried to tell her, again, that I was able to get someone for her and that I knew what she was doing was very tough and very brave, she tried to calm down to say thanks, but it was through sobs that just made tears well up in my eyes immediately. (actually it still does) She told me she would be fine and I left again with another pit in my stomach.
The second time I left, I had immediate flashbacks of being a new mom to Gage who did not learn to nurse well until, like, week 18, being by myself day in and day out because it was summer time and Austin was busy (in hind sight he knows this was a terrible, terrible decision) at the lake, and recovering slowly from a c-section that also included a blood transfusion. I couldn't leave that restaurant until I knew the mother had someone she knew to help her. Loneliness (even mental loneliness) and being a new mom is no easy combination.
I combed the place until I could figure out who might be with her and I finally found the husband, sitting patiently by himself, enjoying the quiet with no idea how his courageous wife was doing. I pulled him out of his daze by asking him if he had a newborn with him and his eyes just lit up with pride. Then I told him that his wife didn't ask for any help, but as a mom who has been in her shoes, I felt that she could really use his support. He went into Super Hero Poppa mode and followed me to the bathroom and went inside after we knew she was still in there by herself.
It's been in my mind ever since. I remember shooing people away all the time who offered help to me because I didn't know them, and because I was still bent on the idea that I should have more help from all the family that I was living among. That was a big, big mistake on my part and it was a lesson learned that being a mom is not really about always being independent and foolishly tough if it means that there is still agony on the inside. I've also learned that it's certainly best not to judge other families or try to tell other families how to parent, again as I was doused with this when Gage was born. Every time I tried to venture to the lake with Austin, ever camper under the sun had some other piece of advice or correction to make, but no one... and I mean no one, ever offered to just help.
Momma's need to be brave to accept help and that doesn't happen overnight. And, others need to be helpful--even with an encouraging look or gesture. A momma's psyche is very important to that newborn and to herself.
Before we left the restroom, I knew she was struggling and I just wanted to do anything to help her. I knocked on her door and told her that I had been in her shoes lots of times and asked if there was anything I could do to help or if there was anyone with her that she wanted me to get. Already three minutes had gone by and the baby was just not calming down. In her shoes, in that space, trying to do the job she was trying to do-- those have to be about the most emotional moments for a momma.
She declined my offer (of course, I'm some stranger in a public restroom) and I left with the kiddos with just a terrible pit in my stomach. After we got our kids ready to go, I told Austin to take them to the car and I returned to the bathroom stall.
The mother was still inside, the baby was still howling that newborn cry that makes a mom think her baby's going to starve, and the mother was sobbing. When I tried to tell her, again, that I was able to get someone for her and that I knew what she was doing was very tough and very brave, she tried to calm down to say thanks, but it was through sobs that just made tears well up in my eyes immediately. (actually it still does) She told me she would be fine and I left again with another pit in my stomach.
The second time I left, I had immediate flashbacks of being a new mom to Gage who did not learn to nurse well until, like, week 18, being by myself day in and day out because it was summer time and Austin was busy (in hind sight he knows this was a terrible, terrible decision) at the lake, and recovering slowly from a c-section that also included a blood transfusion. I couldn't leave that restaurant until I knew the mother had someone she knew to help her. Loneliness (even mental loneliness) and being a new mom is no easy combination.
I combed the place until I could figure out who might be with her and I finally found the husband, sitting patiently by himself, enjoying the quiet with no idea how his courageous wife was doing. I pulled him out of his daze by asking him if he had a newborn with him and his eyes just lit up with pride. Then I told him that his wife didn't ask for any help, but as a mom who has been in her shoes, I felt that she could really use his support. He went into Super Hero Poppa mode and followed me to the bathroom and went inside after we knew she was still in there by herself.
It's been in my mind ever since. I remember shooing people away all the time who offered help to me because I didn't know them, and because I was still bent on the idea that I should have more help from all the family that I was living among. That was a big, big mistake on my part and it was a lesson learned that being a mom is not really about always being independent and foolishly tough if it means that there is still agony on the inside. I've also learned that it's certainly best not to judge other families or try to tell other families how to parent, again as I was doused with this when Gage was born. Every time I tried to venture to the lake with Austin, ever camper under the sun had some other piece of advice or correction to make, but no one... and I mean no one, ever offered to just help.
Momma's need to be brave to accept help and that doesn't happen overnight. And, others need to be helpful--even with an encouraging look or gesture. A momma's psyche is very important to that newborn and to herself.
Friday, January 14, 2011
One Week In
Leila has been in her big girl bed for a week, night time madness has dissipated, and she is proud to tell everyone that "Leila's big now!" I wasn't ready for this transition, but I am so happy to see that she is proud of herself.
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