stop, breathe, count blessings

A dear friend told me, "For all your struggles, you are very lucky."  I appreciate the reminders like this from people who see our world from the outside in.  All too easily I can get caught up in the constant 'what will go wrong next' because I'm just now starting to accept, at age 32, that control is best when you give it up and just realize that the real plans for us are resting with God.  

When Gage was born I was so excited and ready for the end of a terrible, miserable pregnancy.  But, I had no idea what the phrase 'momma lion' really symbolized until I had this tiny infant in my arms that totally relied on me to be his biggest link to survival.  

I knew Gage had some special needs of his own; I somehow knew, even when he was a newborn, that I had a bigger challenge placed in front of me.  Austin and I somewhat believe that children may choose their parents and telling myself that Gage chose us because we were best equipped to take care of him was something that really kept the fire lit when my body begged for rest.  We had a 5-day stay in the hospital with some issues, and before we left the hospital hes still had a projectile vomit issue that my gut said, 'this surely can't be normal.'  

After 15 months of constantly trying to figure out new solutions to Gage's vomitting problem, we found our answers at Children's Hospital of Pittsburgh-- eosinophilic esophagitis, made worse by the discovered 14 food allergies and allergies to dogs and cats.  Of all the allergies they tested him for, chicken and sugar were the only things he was not allergic to.  After two days in a cave of tears, momma lion emerged again to tackle this thing head on.  With a great pediatrician (the first one was fired), a great allergist, and a great Ma Bailey (my mom), we have successfully battled on for 21 months.  

It is anxiety all over again for me lately, and we are seeing a comeback of these health issues.  I am sad that Gage will spend his 3rd birthday back at Children's Hospital next week, but I feel blessed that we get to see him turn 3 and that we know help for him will be on its way.  I've learned that a lot of unsolicited advice comes with parenting, but I've also learned momma's almost always know best--it's a great job to be momma--to see the babies grow, to do whatever it takes to keep them healthy and happy, and to watch them develop personalities, character, and strength.  I have many blessings in life -- Gage and Leila are truly the best gifts of all.