Yesterday Gage experienced his first choke * while at school. Before he left for school he said that his stomach hurt, but certainly didn't act sick. However, I wasn't surprised when my phone rang at 8:15. I knew it was the school calling to ask me to pick him up. And, so begins our next segment of trying to teach others about Gage, trying to teach Gage about himself, and trying to do the right thing without causing any major disturbances to all those who work with Gage.
We don't know if he choked because of food allergies or because of a bug, even though he's been perfectly fine ever since. He has been back on a gluten-free diet for three weeks, but I don't know that gluten has ever caused him to puke like his milk allergy causes. There are so many unknown variables.
In all of my years of teaching, I have never felt the side of a parent, and here's the truth: any one size fits all approach that our schools utilize truly, truly leave out so many children. Whether we're talking about the bullying epidemic, the intervention needs, or the behavioral/health needs, so many kids fall into these categories.
Today, Gage told Austin that his belly hurt and Austin didn't push him into going to school so as to error on the side of caution, as so many will believe (no matter what) that his puking is always caused by sickness. Soon after Austin left, Gage told me that he was afraid to go back to school because "what if that hard choke happens again, mom?" It's bad enough when a child pukes in front of everyone because he or she is sick... but for Gage, his pukes happen in a blink and 98% of the time have been caused by allergies. It's going to be a tough road for him, as it already is, because of having so many allergies. I worry that the teachers won't do enough to use these moments as teachable moments and that Gage will become a target to bullies. I guess this is just one of the reasons why giving up so much of the control to another adult has been hard on me. It isn't because I'm a sappy mom who wants to bottle up her kid and never let him grow (although there are moments that I'd like to bottle up). There is just so much that a parent does in those first four years and so much that a parent knows--therefore does for a certain reason, that it's hard to let it all go because Gage, like many other kids, does not fall into the average box on every level. The food allergies, the esophagus issues... it's a medical concern that is and will be with me every day.
I know that my brother used to have to leave work at lunchtime to eat with my nephew, who has the same disorder, because my nephew grew a fear of puking at school, and he quit eating at school unless his dad was with him. I'll have to re-visit that time with my brother and try to figure out the best way, yet again, to help take care of Gage--not just medically, but also emotionally.
His follow-up appointment to the gluten-free diet trial is this week. I'm hoping for good directions and answers to our latest battles with Gage's health needs.
* Choke= Gage lingo for severe vomitting
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