Whatever it Takes

There are the moments that the ugly 3's transforms itself into my cute little boy--screaming, kicking, backtalking, spitting. Luckily for me these times are few and far between (and most definitely signal the need for sleep). I'm not always the best at handling these times, and I guess one of these days Gage will learn the truth (and perhaps Leila, too) that our magic weapon in this household is cumin. That's right: right from Isle 7 of our local Kroger (One day I had to actually show Gage that it did, in fact, exist in Kroger, and that I could pull it off the shelf to use it if he didn't change his attitude). I've learned the value of the saying "this is going to hurt me more than it's going to hurt you."

I hate this part of parenting--absolutely hate it. My mom's generation spanked children and used a bar of soap... and through many years since then and debates about what's best for kids, we've found that if the whole time-out thing doesn't work, cumin in the mouth is a much less forceful slap in the face--with equal shock results. I remember being afraid of my mom if she even raised her hand in threat of a slap. Now, our fear factor is marching to the spice cupboard.

I wonder how these stories will be retold from our kids' perspectives. Austin and I are spoiled in the sense of discipline because we're in the education world: we always 'win', kind of--and have all kinds of tricks up our sleeves if it does get ugly. But they aren't always easily transferable into the parent role. The hallway or principal's room is quite similar to time out but I don't dare ever say something like "wait until I tell your father" like I could tell a student that I'm calling home. I can't request a conference, but I can take away privileges. Unfortunately... as a mom to a near-one-year old, this usually makes it just as tough on me as it is on him.

The comparative list could go on and on, but I guess if I want my children to understand anything, I want them to understand that we do our best as parents each day--and I believe that our children set out to do their best as well. However, once I became a parent, the judging-of- other-parents buck stopped cold: we will all, one day, be the parent in the book store with one kid howling all the way to the bathroom. Or, the parent whose child makes some kind of 'fat-smelly-weird looking-dirty' comment to a complete stranger; the parent who leaves a 30% tip and decides to not return to that restaurant for a really, really long time. And I guess, if I have to start packing cumin into my diaper bag, so be it, but maybe it'd all be a lot easier if the world was a lot less judgmental of parents in public with their children. I mean, seriously, I might laugh a whole lot more at the mischief. But then again, on second thought, I'd be painting an evil description of double standards. The hurdles are never cleared.