Embraced

Leila's need to attach herself to me as frequently as possible has always been understood, but maybe not so much as 'embraced' as I've learned this summer.

I've put this pressure on myself to be a parent whose children are well-managed, well-adjusted, fun-loving kids and to have a daughter who wants to always be on me and with me somehow in my mind meant that there was only a certain time and place for all of that 'bonding.' Obviously, it wasn't working for me to think that way and it certainly wasn't working for Leila, either. Who made up these rules and put them in my head, anyway??

For sleeping, Leila now has her own little bed in our room. She sleeps in it only when she wakes up in the middle of night and wants to sleep with me. Now, she doesn't even wake us up when she comes in, but instead, tucks herself into her little bed. I've embraced that her security is still very much her mother.

For outings, Leila wants to be doing everything just as all the bigger people, but it is with me she partners herself. There has been some finesse to this situation when it comes to also spending quality time with Gage, but our trips to Idlewild and to Kennywood have been great examples that it can be done when we embrace what gives Leila confidence to be adventurous with her family and to be open to new and exciting things that help to continue to shape her. In fact, with the right balance between momma and others, Leila is learning to trust others.

For overall happiness, Leila is calmer, easier to talk to and understand, and more able to be reasoned with. With the right dose of who Leila is with what Leila needs, our entire family is under less stress.

This has been a big life lesson on the adage that every child is different and wants and needs for different things-- no matter what 'experts' consider to be right and wrong ways to raise our children, the children all come with a little of their own recipe for what they need. Giving ourselves permission to follow that recipe and to embrace our children, despite what others perceive, is a constant battle.